I love her because…

The big ex’s birthday just passed. I REPEAT my ex, the one whose initials are forever inked into my ring finger just celebrated her 27th birthday. She did so without me and from an unknown location somewhere in the country.
I sent her an email via LinkedIn which is the only social media site she frequents saying Happy Birthday and expressing a strong desire to see her. Needless to say, she refused and I swallowed and finally accepted the hard truth that she will be avoiding us probably for the rest of her life.
While that fact finally sunk through my layers of denial I stared at my hand tattoo and remembered the day I got it. The hood AG tattoo artist was just drunk enough to ask me multiple times if in fact, ‘I was sure’. And every time, my YES was more pronounced then the last.
Finally after another mixed drink the tattoo artist asked me “Why? Y’all not together and you don’t know if she’ll ever come back. Why are you getting this?”
I answered because I love her and I want to. Still she didn’t understand but gave me the tattoo anyway.
And it took a birthday message response from this woman to help me understand my truth. That me loving her, isn’t for her, it’s for me. She can be married and happy and I will still love her the same if not more. If we never get back together I will still love her. And if given the time, opportunity, and resources, I would search the Earth to ask for another chance at our love.
But for now, I love her because she exists, near or far. I love her because the love she has shown me continues to change and rearrange me. I love her because her love was the most pure. I love her because my love for her helps me go on. And I will always keep this tattoo as a reminder of our love because she is the prototype for a perfect love, for me.